What is normal?

I've been gone from my own "art focus" for four months...still doing some art...but mainly doing things that revolve around my wonderful husband, his illness and taking care of our family...and taking care of me too!!! All of this has been a FULL TIME JOB!!!! I've been very distracted....with emotions flying all over the place. We will continue our blog at http://www.richardandsherri.com/ but I think it's important to get back to my own place, my own thoughts and my own art.

We are having to redefine normal since Richard's cancer diagnosis. My life will never be the same. Right now it is all experimental. Some things feel good when I do them, some things feel bad....but I'm doing them and I think that that is whats important. I am not the same person I was four months ago....in some ways I'm more confident, stronger, more sure than I have ever been. In other ways I'm pretty pathetic and whimpy. But in all ways I am very focused on living life to the fullest...I call it making my moments plump. I'm determined to live with love surrounding me. I'm determined to live with passion. I'm determine to continue creating because I know that that is how I stay spiritually connected and whole.

To you, my friends, thank you so much for your support and prayers for our family. You have stuck by us in ways I sometimes still can't believe. I have learned what friendship is. You have been wonderful teachers. I truly am blessed and touched by so many acts of kindness and love. I have watched you all love Richard...and I have watched that love bathe him in a healing light that is very powerful. How can I ever thank everyone?

I wanted to share some of my journal pages that I have done over the past few weeks. The drawings are things I have done while waiting in doctor's offices, during radiation treatments, and here at home when I needed to keep my hands busy. I don't consider myself a draw-er, but I'm trying to challenge myself to do a drawing a day...no matter if it is the ugliest thing in the world. I've made a rule that I can't rip them out of my sketch book. The ones that I am displeased with are as important as the ones I love. Here are a few......

I apologize for the crummy scans but I haven't figured out my new scanning program.....they're crooked and not cropped but I'll keep working on it. At lease you can see what I've been working on. Sometimes I feel like I'm so clumsy with my art these days and other times it feels so good to be doing it. I'm sure that's normal (I guess) considering what I've been through. I'm giving myself time to just be with whatever comes.

I've also started teaching again. I am so glad to be back. It's funny but I am even a different teacher as a result of this experience with Richard. I feel, more passionately, the power of creativity and how it feeds the soul. I'm also so much more aware of how my art is a "place" for just me....even though I show it to others.....when I am creating I am there taking care of myself. I also immediately had deep feelings for my students.....wanting to give them the best experience possible. It feels wonderful.

O.K....enough for my first entry. I'll see you back here soon. Until then....love with all your might and let your beautiful lights shine.

Blessings,

Sherri

Wrong address!!!

O.K.!!! It is apparent that I'm under a little stress! Here is the correct address of our new blog!
http://richardandsherri.blogspot.com/

New Blog!!!

To say that things have been crazy is TOTALLY an understatement. I really don't even know how to begin telling any of you how dramatically our lives have changed since September 17, 2007. I guess the only way is to just do my best and then let all of you keep up to date with Richard and I at our new blog!!!!

On September 17th, 2007, after a few weeks of minor forgetfulness and then a few days of little headaches, Richard, my beautiful husband, was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme brain tumor. This definately is the most horrible thing that has EVER happened to me. I know for certain that Richard and I and our children, our families, our friends.....will never be the same again. For the past week I've walked around in total fear and yet I've also been surrounded by feelings of passionate love, gratitude, determination, awe and rawness. I've cried....so hard I don't even make the "ugly cry face"! My tears just run and I have moaned with total pain and horror. I have also held tightly to my husband.....watching in disbelief as he continues to nuture his children, his family and his friends even as he struggles with a 6 cm. tumor in his brain.

So.....I guess you are caught up. I literally stop making sense after a few minutes....so I will cut this short. Richard and I have started a new blog together and I hope that you all will come and visit us there. It is our attempt at keeping people aware of what is happening and documenting the scary journey that lies ahead.

Our new blog address is: www.richardandsherriwordsfromtheheart.blogspot.com

Take The Time!!!

Everyday has been so filled...that I never seem to have the time to work on my blog. What I realized last night is that I just need to take the time to make it happen. We have been sosososo busy here....working in our yard, building things, creating new spaces, making a home for us. Our days have been filled and I'm finally ready to show you our house.....or parts of it....at least the outside projects that are near completion.

This is a picture of our garden!!! Things are growing, growing, growing. We're already eating lettuce! The blue structure is our neighbors....but we put up the fence.

Richard built this arbot for me at the bottom of our top yard. We have climbing hydrangeas beginning to grow on each side. Below this fence is our barn and another pasture/field. At the bottom of that is a beautiful little creek!!!

I love this side garden.... The previous owner had added a bunch of perennials...but of course I've added my own. So much color and texture.

One day I went out back and the fairies had visited and left Richard and I little baubles hanging from the trees. Those generous fairies. How could we be so blessed to have them in our garden? They intuitively know that I love sparkly things.

Our deck turned out beautiful. We spend so much time out there!!! We still need to put the bottom skirt on it....but we're so happy with how it turned out.

I have worked really hard on the front yard. There were already plants here....but they needed alot of care. It's a definate work in progress. I still don't feel like it is welcoming enough!!! Hmmmmmm........

The wall on the left in this photo is where the new studio is. It use to be a carport but we've walled it in and insulated it. It still needs alot of work. But we have finally been able to finish this entry porch (right near the front driveway). People walk through this to get to our front door which is up the step on the left. This area is covered and is cool, especially in the evening. Our plants love it!!! It will be wonderful to have this right outside my studio door!

Right near our front door I wanted the sound of "water". Richard built this little fountain. It's perfect! I swear the man can do anything!!

This last picture is taken from the front door. I wanted you to be able to see the studio entrance. Phew.....That is the end of the tour for now!!!

During this time I've also been working on art.......but I'll post those pics later on!!!! I hope you enjoy the pictures.

I've lost my spirit!!!

This is just a short note....mainly to remind myself that I am OK! I haven't wanted to write negative things here. Sometimes that feels like I'm breaking the rules. Today it feels like I just need to write and admit that this week has been difficult and challenging. I also need to remember that I've done hard and challenging before and I always get through it so I know it will all be OK.

Through the two remodeling jobs, the stress of children leaving home, moving to Kauai, working on Orcas Island and in Seattle, the selling of two homes and all the money issues and my ups and downs with health challenges.....I just feel very tired and very gray. My spirit has left the house.

Don't worry though. I am aware of where I am and of what I am doing. I know how to find it again. I miss everyone and everything that brings me joy. I'm glad it's Friday...Hopefully I can take some time to find "me" again.

A Wonderful Walk!!!

I went for a long walk today through the park (Cornwall Park) that is near our house. It is one of the oldest parks in Bellingham and so all the trees and growth are very well established. There's alot to do there (tennis, children's playground, frizbee golf, hiking trails, baseball, picnic areas). Cornwall Park is one of my all time favorite parks.....and when I realized how close our new house is to the park entrance I was ecstatic!!!

I thought I would share some pictures of our beautiful Pacific Northwest. I truly live in an enchanting place!!!!

This is one of the canopys of trees that I walked under. It looked just like lace hanging from this tree!

Another beautiful canopy.....maple trees! Oh my gosh.....they were just sparkling!!!

This creek feeds into the creek that runs at the base of our property!!! Mali (our golden retriever) loves to play in this creek.

As I was noticing the fine details that surrounded me I saw alot of evidence of Fairy Life!!! Apparently life for these ittle guys was pretty frisky last night. There were many places where I know that the fairies had spent hours loving one another (I think some may have been having fairy sex......is that going to get me in trouble????). Anyway....you have to look closely but I definately see places where lots of laying and loving was going on. Delightful!!!

You have to look closely.....but can't you see a little cleared off spot where the fairies were laying together???? I can so see it!!!

I was trying to be very quiet when I walked by this scene.....because behind that little log, under that fern you can see a little fairy sound asleep!!! Do you see it?

Ok....so now you know that I have an amazing imagination.....but it's so fun!!! It's magic!

A beautiful day!!!

The sun is shining and I can "smell" summer.....or at least close to it. Yesterday's weather, which us people who live in WA soon forget & forgive, was freezing and rainy....but thankfully the beauty has returned!!!

We had such a busy weekend!!! A graduation party on Saturday which we helped cater and then major shopping and house stuff on Sunday. Richard and I decided that we needed the week to come so that we could rest. Life is crazy, fast paced and wonderful for us (most of the time!!!)

The party on Saturday was great!!! We got lots of positive comments. People loved the food and how it was presented. I was so happy. Yes.....I wore my glitter make-up and donned my beautiful white catering apron.

It was really fun to be in that role again. Richard and I work well as a team. He use to be a dietary food manager at a care facility and so we both have cooking experience. We just fell right back into the doing without any hesitation. This IS NOT going to be a business for us, however....NO, NO, NO!!! It is something we like to do for family and friends. A way for us to share and love, but to do it professionally is really horribly hard work. I guess I just love parties!!!

Yesterday we bought a new, big, riding lawn mower. Oh my gosh!!! What a process! So I've named it, "The He Mower!!!", however I have every intention of being a "she" who gets to use it. Most of you know I don't drive a car....haven't for over ten years....but driving my mower is the closest thing to my driving as I can get. When I mow our lawn I pretend I'm driving to the grocery store or to Macy's (just like I did as a kid). However, as an adult, I tend to whoop and holler at the top of my lungs and the dogs (all three) chase me around and around the lawn. I'm sure it's quite a site to see....but we're all having a blast. Richard stands in the middle of the yard (watching me closely.....he's so frightened I'm going to get hurt or run over something other than grass) smiling from ear to ear. He knows how cool I feel!!! I can't wait to jump onto that big sucker!!!!

We also bought closed closets for our pantry. We had metal shelving in there but from the kitchen you could see all the mess and it seemed very cluttered....... So.....we took everything out of the pantry/laundry room, built the two, huge closets and then put everything back. Phew!!! I have finally accepted the fact that maybe I am a little like my Mother..... I have more back up food than the US Army!!! My Mom use to do this too!!! I mean, I have back ups of back ups!!! All I can say is that I'm prepared to feed anyone and everyone who shows up at my door with no problems. SCARY!!!

I am off to teach my Level Two Visual Journaling class!!! I love this group of women. They are so talented and beautiful!!! We all have a good time together!!!

Take deep breaths....

Blessings,

Sherri