I've lost my spirit!!!

This is just a short note....mainly to remind myself that I am OK! I haven't wanted to write negative things here. Sometimes that feels like I'm breaking the rules. Today it feels like I just need to write and admit that this week has been difficult and challenging. I also need to remember that I've done hard and challenging before and I always get through it so I know it will all be OK.

Through the two remodeling jobs, the stress of children leaving home, moving to Kauai, working on Orcas Island and in Seattle, the selling of two homes and all the money issues and my ups and downs with health challenges.....I just feel very tired and very gray. My spirit has left the house.

Don't worry though. I am aware of where I am and of what I am doing. I know how to find it again. I miss everyone and everything that brings me joy. I'm glad it's Friday...Hopefully I can take some time to find "me" again.

A Wonderful Walk!!!

I went for a long walk today through the park (Cornwall Park) that is near our house. It is one of the oldest parks in Bellingham and so all the trees and growth are very well established. There's alot to do there (tennis, children's playground, frizbee golf, hiking trails, baseball, picnic areas). Cornwall Park is one of my all time favorite parks.....and when I realized how close our new house is to the park entrance I was ecstatic!!!

I thought I would share some pictures of our beautiful Pacific Northwest. I truly live in an enchanting place!!!!

This is one of the canopys of trees that I walked under. It looked just like lace hanging from this tree!

Another beautiful canopy.....maple trees! Oh my gosh.....they were just sparkling!!!

This creek feeds into the creek that runs at the base of our property!!! Mali (our golden retriever) loves to play in this creek.

As I was noticing the fine details that surrounded me I saw alot of evidence of Fairy Life!!! Apparently life for these ittle guys was pretty frisky last night. There were many places where I know that the fairies had spent hours loving one another (I think some may have been having fairy sex......is that going to get me in trouble????). Anyway....you have to look closely but I definately see places where lots of laying and loving was going on. Delightful!!!

You have to look closely.....but can't you see a little cleared off spot where the fairies were laying together???? I can so see it!!!

I was trying to be very quiet when I walked by this scene.....because behind that little log, under that fern you can see a little fairy sound asleep!!! Do you see it?

Ok....so now you know that I have an amazing imagination.....but it's so fun!!! It's magic!

A beautiful day!!!

The sun is shining and I can "smell" summer.....or at least close to it. Yesterday's weather, which us people who live in WA soon forget & forgive, was freezing and rainy....but thankfully the beauty has returned!!!

We had such a busy weekend!!! A graduation party on Saturday which we helped cater and then major shopping and house stuff on Sunday. Richard and I decided that we needed the week to come so that we could rest. Life is crazy, fast paced and wonderful for us (most of the time!!!)

The party on Saturday was great!!! We got lots of positive comments. People loved the food and how it was presented. I was so happy. Yes.....I wore my glitter make-up and donned my beautiful white catering apron.

It was really fun to be in that role again. Richard and I work well as a team. He use to be a dietary food manager at a care facility and so we both have cooking experience. We just fell right back into the doing without any hesitation. This IS NOT going to be a business for us, however....NO, NO, NO!!! It is something we like to do for family and friends. A way for us to share and love, but to do it professionally is really horribly hard work. I guess I just love parties!!!

Yesterday we bought a new, big, riding lawn mower. Oh my gosh!!! What a process! So I've named it, "The He Mower!!!", however I have every intention of being a "she" who gets to use it. Most of you know I don't drive a car....haven't for over ten years....but driving my mower is the closest thing to my driving as I can get. When I mow our lawn I pretend I'm driving to the grocery store or to Macy's (just like I did as a kid). However, as an adult, I tend to whoop and holler at the top of my lungs and the dogs (all three) chase me around and around the lawn. I'm sure it's quite a site to see....but we're all having a blast. Richard stands in the middle of the yard (watching me closely.....he's so frightened I'm going to get hurt or run over something other than grass) smiling from ear to ear. He knows how cool I feel!!! I can't wait to jump onto that big sucker!!!!

We also bought closed closets for our pantry. We had metal shelving in there but from the kitchen you could see all the mess and it seemed very cluttered....... So.....we took everything out of the pantry/laundry room, built the two, huge closets and then put everything back. Phew!!! I have finally accepted the fact that maybe I am a little like my Mother..... I have more back up food than the US Army!!! My Mom use to do this too!!! I mean, I have back ups of back ups!!! All I can say is that I'm prepared to feed anyone and everyone who shows up at my door with no problems. SCARY!!!

I am off to teach my Level Two Visual Journaling class!!! I love this group of women. They are so talented and beautiful!!! We all have a good time together!!!

Take deep breaths....

Blessings,

Sherri

I love Fridays!!!

I absolutely love Fridays. I look forward to Richard coming home...knowing that I get to have him home for two whole days!!! I just love that!!!

We are helping Richard's sister with a graduation party for our niece, Brianna!!! I love parties (you can just imagine!!!) and I love to cook. I use to work for a caterer and so party preparation is easy for me. This will be Brianna's graduation present from us. We're expecting 50 people for lunch!!! Tonight promises to be very busy!

I'm really glad that I have something to look forward to. I've been very up and down with my emotions lately and sometimes that scares me. I've struggled with depression throughout my life... I think it's pretty normal for someone to be depressed when they deal, on a daily basis, with chronic illness. I don't like to talk about it too much....but suffice it to say that I am feeling better, mentally, than I ever have and feel like I have a handle on it. But....no matter if you have a history of depression or not.....there isn't any kind of treatment that is going to take all of our sad days away. Swinging emotions are pretty common for women my age....but with me when it happens I always get afraid that my darkness is approaching again. I should feel confident by now about how "in-tune" to my psyche I am and that I am able to recognize the signs of a problem. Also.....I have tons of coping strategies now.....little tricks.....that really help keep things level....the biggest one being my art!!!!!

Well...enough.... I have tons to do!!! I love going to these family functions with Richard's family. Sometimes, I know that I freak them out.....but they're learning to accept and even enjoy, a little bit, the crazy, creative Sherri. I carry my pink purse, wear my glitter make-up, throw confetti all over the buffet table, wear purple crocs and sparkly outfits...and they're learning to just enjoy it. I love that!!! My own family has a difficult time of just letting me be me. They don't get me.....neither does Richard's family....but the difference is that Richard's family enjoys just watching and waiting for what may be coming next. They don't have to figure it out. They even join me every once in a while!!! That is amazing!!! Richard has brought me so many beautiful things!!! I am so blessed to have that man in my life!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!!

New Art for You to See!

Finally!!! I have been successful and Blogger has let me download some images of my recent work!!! I'm sosososo excited.

At Artfest I took a class from Traci Bautista. It was wonderful. It was fun watching one of my favorite artist in action. Since Artfest I've been tweeking with the techniques that she taught us and these are some of my finished pieces! I love the colors and textures. Of course I have deemed myself the Doodle Queen and I love that part too! Let me know what you think.

I am working on many things right now....including more of these collages, some jewelry, various fabric projects and a whole series of embellishment making. Also, at this time, I am teaching a Level 2 journaling class. This group of women are really charming. I so enjoy standing beside them as they learn more about their creative voices. I love to teach!!! I will be doing a demo at Stampadoodle this week on embellishments. I can't wait! I feel "busy" in my artist's world and I love that.

Personally there are always things happening...ebbing and flowing.....changes being made, adjustments in how I do things, who I do things with, how much energy I have, where I want to spend my time, etc. I certainly feel like a moving target sometimes.....not very stable....ever changing. It is at these moments that I feel very "onely" and solitary. I've learned that it is OK and that I don't need to be afraid. Often....this is when my most momentus decisions get made and when I make, what I see, as my most moving art. Times of change shouldn't be frightening. It's exciting.

I have so many things to be thankful for. These things are all part of the beautiful quilt of my life. I do revel in my abundance!!!

The Ritual Has Begun!!!

Oh my gosh!!! It is in the morning and I have found some precious time to scan some recent work, I have finally been successful at doing that and saving it on my computer, and I am sitting here actually ready to write. I am quick to remember the rythym of my morning ritual and it seems to be such a familiar tune. I feel so comfy and sosososo relieved.

In between all the work on our new house I've spent alot of time thinking about where I want to go with my art. This seems to be a constant stream of thought for me. I feel like I often get stuck at this place and it has become exhausting! It's almost like....what can of artist do I want to be when I grow up!!!! Interesting....do you think that maybe instead of thinking about where I want to go I may need to be thinking about where I already am??????? What a concept! It is so easy to get caught up in looking backwards or at looking ahead....I forget that right now I have work to do. My spirit is crying out for creative attention and time and I often find myself not listening. How sad is that?

As I remove myself from the "home" projects for a few minutes....my breath gets caught and I feel so sad that I have forgotten to tend the most important part of me.....my true creative spirit. I have forgotten to rejoice in who I really am.....getting lost in all the details of life.....all the decisions about remodeling, health issues, tending to family needs, trying to get things organized....feeling so overwhelmed. My soul has been shoved around....screaming in the only way it knows how to....leaving me feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and even angry (that is my soul's voice when it is unhappy)...but until I finally stop for a while I really have been unable to see the situation clearly. Is this my own private struggle or do others have similar moments of artistic confusion?

I've tried to download my recent work....but Blogger seems to be having difficulty this morning and I can't seem to get things downloaded..... How disappointing!!! But....I guess it leaves something for all of us to look forward to!!! I will try to download later....I can't wait for you to see what I've been working on.

Have a wonderful day!

OOOOPPPPSSSS!!!

Obviously it's been so long since I've blogged, it seems as though I have forgotten how to do it! So much time has gone by.....I am in awe!!! We have been so busy....with the selling of two homes, with putting in a new yard, with planting a veggie garden, with starting the studio remodel, with starting a brand new deck, with trips with friends to Lummi Island, with saying good-bye to our daughter (who just left today for a move to Kauai!!!), with Mother's day, with my health, with............it just goes on and on. How easy it is to forget or let go of my soulwork! How easy it is to get so overwhelmed and let things slip away....weeks, months.....and then when you come up for air....you look back and see such a rush and haze. I don't want to live my life like that......but sometimes it just has to be. Responsible living demands attention and I quickly let go of my "center". It's a continued battle for me.

Part of the problem is trying to figure out how to catch you all up. I've finally realized that there is no way to explain all that has gone on. It just needs to begin....and I hope that you can put the many pieces together as I begin blogging again. Writing is truly a priority. I can only try to remember my priorities and push to remember that my "artist work" is my soulwork!!!!

I feel you all out there....waiting patiently for me to get going. I will get better at this. I promise.

Time Flies!!!