Wrong address!!!

O.K.!!! It is apparent that I'm under a little stress! Here is the correct address of our new blog!
http://richardandsherri.blogspot.com/

New Blog!!!

To say that things have been crazy is TOTALLY an understatement. I really don't even know how to begin telling any of you how dramatically our lives have changed since September 17, 2007. I guess the only way is to just do my best and then let all of you keep up to date with Richard and I at our new blog!!!!

On September 17th, 2007, after a few weeks of minor forgetfulness and then a few days of little headaches, Richard, my beautiful husband, was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme brain tumor. This definately is the most horrible thing that has EVER happened to me. I know for certain that Richard and I and our children, our families, our friends.....will never be the same again. For the past week I've walked around in total fear and yet I've also been surrounded by feelings of passionate love, gratitude, determination, awe and rawness. I've cried....so hard I don't even make the "ugly cry face"! My tears just run and I have moaned with total pain and horror. I have also held tightly to my husband.....watching in disbelief as he continues to nuture his children, his family and his friends even as he struggles with a 6 cm. tumor in his brain.

So.....I guess you are caught up. I literally stop making sense after a few minutes....so I will cut this short. Richard and I have started a new blog together and I hope that you all will come and visit us there. It is our attempt at keeping people aware of what is happening and documenting the scary journey that lies ahead.

Our new blog address is: www.richardandsherriwordsfromtheheart.blogspot.com

Take The Time!!!

Everyday has been so filled...that I never seem to have the time to work on my blog. What I realized last night is that I just need to take the time to make it happen. We have been sosososo busy here....working in our yard, building things, creating new spaces, making a home for us. Our days have been filled and I'm finally ready to show you our house.....or parts of it....at least the outside projects that are near completion.

This is a picture of our garden!!! Things are growing, growing, growing. We're already eating lettuce! The blue structure is our neighbors....but we put up the fence.

Richard built this arbot for me at the bottom of our top yard. We have climbing hydrangeas beginning to grow on each side. Below this fence is our barn and another pasture/field. At the bottom of that is a beautiful little creek!!!

I love this side garden.... The previous owner had added a bunch of perennials...but of course I've added my own. So much color and texture.

One day I went out back and the fairies had visited and left Richard and I little baubles hanging from the trees. Those generous fairies. How could we be so blessed to have them in our garden? They intuitively know that I love sparkly things.

Our deck turned out beautiful. We spend so much time out there!!! We still need to put the bottom skirt on it....but we're so happy with how it turned out.

I have worked really hard on the front yard. There were already plants here....but they needed alot of care. It's a definate work in progress. I still don't feel like it is welcoming enough!!! Hmmmmmm........

The wall on the left in this photo is where the new studio is. It use to be a carport but we've walled it in and insulated it. It still needs alot of work. But we have finally been able to finish this entry porch (right near the front driveway). People walk through this to get to our front door which is up the step on the left. This area is covered and is cool, especially in the evening. Our plants love it!!! It will be wonderful to have this right outside my studio door!

Right near our front door I wanted the sound of "water". Richard built this little fountain. It's perfect! I swear the man can do anything!!

This last picture is taken from the front door. I wanted you to be able to see the studio entrance. Phew.....That is the end of the tour for now!!!

During this time I've also been working on art.......but I'll post those pics later on!!!! I hope you enjoy the pictures.

I've lost my spirit!!!

This is just a short note....mainly to remind myself that I am OK! I haven't wanted to write negative things here. Sometimes that feels like I'm breaking the rules. Today it feels like I just need to write and admit that this week has been difficult and challenging. I also need to remember that I've done hard and challenging before and I always get through it so I know it will all be OK.

Through the two remodeling jobs, the stress of children leaving home, moving to Kauai, working on Orcas Island and in Seattle, the selling of two homes and all the money issues and my ups and downs with health challenges.....I just feel very tired and very gray. My spirit has left the house.

Don't worry though. I am aware of where I am and of what I am doing. I know how to find it again. I miss everyone and everything that brings me joy. I'm glad it's Friday...Hopefully I can take some time to find "me" again.

A Wonderful Walk!!!

I went for a long walk today through the park (Cornwall Park) that is near our house. It is one of the oldest parks in Bellingham and so all the trees and growth are very well established. There's alot to do there (tennis, children's playground, frizbee golf, hiking trails, baseball, picnic areas). Cornwall Park is one of my all time favorite parks.....and when I realized how close our new house is to the park entrance I was ecstatic!!!

I thought I would share some pictures of our beautiful Pacific Northwest. I truly live in an enchanting place!!!!

This is one of the canopys of trees that I walked under. It looked just like lace hanging from this tree!

Another beautiful canopy.....maple trees! Oh my gosh.....they were just sparkling!!!

This creek feeds into the creek that runs at the base of our property!!! Mali (our golden retriever) loves to play in this creek.

As I was noticing the fine details that surrounded me I saw alot of evidence of Fairy Life!!! Apparently life for these ittle guys was pretty frisky last night. There were many places where I know that the fairies had spent hours loving one another (I think some may have been having fairy sex......is that going to get me in trouble????). Anyway....you have to look closely but I definately see places where lots of laying and loving was going on. Delightful!!!

You have to look closely.....but can't you see a little cleared off spot where the fairies were laying together???? I can so see it!!!

I was trying to be very quiet when I walked by this scene.....because behind that little log, under that fern you can see a little fairy sound asleep!!! Do you see it?

Ok....so now you know that I have an amazing imagination.....but it's so fun!!! It's magic!

A beautiful day!!!

The sun is shining and I can "smell" summer.....or at least close to it. Yesterday's weather, which us people who live in WA soon forget & forgive, was freezing and rainy....but thankfully the beauty has returned!!!

We had such a busy weekend!!! A graduation party on Saturday which we helped cater and then major shopping and house stuff on Sunday. Richard and I decided that we needed the week to come so that we could rest. Life is crazy, fast paced and wonderful for us (most of the time!!!)

The party on Saturday was great!!! We got lots of positive comments. People loved the food and how it was presented. I was so happy. Yes.....I wore my glitter make-up and donned my beautiful white catering apron.

It was really fun to be in that role again. Richard and I work well as a team. He use to be a dietary food manager at a care facility and so we both have cooking experience. We just fell right back into the doing without any hesitation. This IS NOT going to be a business for us, however....NO, NO, NO!!! It is something we like to do for family and friends. A way for us to share and love, but to do it professionally is really horribly hard work. I guess I just love parties!!!

Yesterday we bought a new, big, riding lawn mower. Oh my gosh!!! What a process! So I've named it, "The He Mower!!!", however I have every intention of being a "she" who gets to use it. Most of you know I don't drive a car....haven't for over ten years....but driving my mower is the closest thing to my driving as I can get. When I mow our lawn I pretend I'm driving to the grocery store or to Macy's (just like I did as a kid). However, as an adult, I tend to whoop and holler at the top of my lungs and the dogs (all three) chase me around and around the lawn. I'm sure it's quite a site to see....but we're all having a blast. Richard stands in the middle of the yard (watching me closely.....he's so frightened I'm going to get hurt or run over something other than grass) smiling from ear to ear. He knows how cool I feel!!! I can't wait to jump onto that big sucker!!!!

We also bought closed closets for our pantry. We had metal shelving in there but from the kitchen you could see all the mess and it seemed very cluttered....... So.....we took everything out of the pantry/laundry room, built the two, huge closets and then put everything back. Phew!!! I have finally accepted the fact that maybe I am a little like my Mother..... I have more back up food than the US Army!!! My Mom use to do this too!!! I mean, I have back ups of back ups!!! All I can say is that I'm prepared to feed anyone and everyone who shows up at my door with no problems. SCARY!!!

I am off to teach my Level Two Visual Journaling class!!! I love this group of women. They are so talented and beautiful!!! We all have a good time together!!!

Take deep breaths....

Blessings,

Sherri

I love Fridays!!!

I absolutely love Fridays. I look forward to Richard coming home...knowing that I get to have him home for two whole days!!! I just love that!!!

We are helping Richard's sister with a graduation party for our niece, Brianna!!! I love parties (you can just imagine!!!) and I love to cook. I use to work for a caterer and so party preparation is easy for me. This will be Brianna's graduation present from us. We're expecting 50 people for lunch!!! Tonight promises to be very busy!

I'm really glad that I have something to look forward to. I've been very up and down with my emotions lately and sometimes that scares me. I've struggled with depression throughout my life... I think it's pretty normal for someone to be depressed when they deal, on a daily basis, with chronic illness. I don't like to talk about it too much....but suffice it to say that I am feeling better, mentally, than I ever have and feel like I have a handle on it. But....no matter if you have a history of depression or not.....there isn't any kind of treatment that is going to take all of our sad days away. Swinging emotions are pretty common for women my age....but with me when it happens I always get afraid that my darkness is approaching again. I should feel confident by now about how "in-tune" to my psyche I am and that I am able to recognize the signs of a problem. Also.....I have tons of coping strategies now.....little tricks.....that really help keep things level....the biggest one being my art!!!!!

Well...enough.... I have tons to do!!! I love going to these family functions with Richard's family. Sometimes, I know that I freak them out.....but they're learning to accept and even enjoy, a little bit, the crazy, creative Sherri. I carry my pink purse, wear my glitter make-up, throw confetti all over the buffet table, wear purple crocs and sparkly outfits...and they're learning to just enjoy it. I love that!!! My own family has a difficult time of just letting me be me. They don't get me.....neither does Richard's family....but the difference is that Richard's family enjoys just watching and waiting for what may be coming next. They don't have to figure it out. They even join me every once in a while!!! That is amazing!!! Richard has brought me so many beautiful things!!! I am so blessed to have that man in my life!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!!

New Art for You to See!

Finally!!! I have been successful and Blogger has let me download some images of my recent work!!! I'm sosososo excited.

At Artfest I took a class from Traci Bautista. It was wonderful. It was fun watching one of my favorite artist in action. Since Artfest I've been tweeking with the techniques that she taught us and these are some of my finished pieces! I love the colors and textures. Of course I have deemed myself the Doodle Queen and I love that part too! Let me know what you think.

I am working on many things right now....including more of these collages, some jewelry, various fabric projects and a whole series of embellishment making. Also, at this time, I am teaching a Level 2 journaling class. This group of women are really charming. I so enjoy standing beside them as they learn more about their creative voices. I love to teach!!! I will be doing a demo at Stampadoodle this week on embellishments. I can't wait! I feel "busy" in my artist's world and I love that.

Personally there are always things happening...ebbing and flowing.....changes being made, adjustments in how I do things, who I do things with, how much energy I have, where I want to spend my time, etc. I certainly feel like a moving target sometimes.....not very stable....ever changing. It is at these moments that I feel very "onely" and solitary. I've learned that it is OK and that I don't need to be afraid. Often....this is when my most momentus decisions get made and when I make, what I see, as my most moving art. Times of change shouldn't be frightening. It's exciting.

I have so many things to be thankful for. These things are all part of the beautiful quilt of my life. I do revel in my abundance!!!

The Ritual Has Begun!!!

Oh my gosh!!! It is in the morning and I have found some precious time to scan some recent work, I have finally been successful at doing that and saving it on my computer, and I am sitting here actually ready to write. I am quick to remember the rythym of my morning ritual and it seems to be such a familiar tune. I feel so comfy and sosososo relieved.

In between all the work on our new house I've spent alot of time thinking about where I want to go with my art. This seems to be a constant stream of thought for me. I feel like I often get stuck at this place and it has become exhausting! It's almost like....what can of artist do I want to be when I grow up!!!! Interesting....do you think that maybe instead of thinking about where I want to go I may need to be thinking about where I already am??????? What a concept! It is so easy to get caught up in looking backwards or at looking ahead....I forget that right now I have work to do. My spirit is crying out for creative attention and time and I often find myself not listening. How sad is that?

As I remove myself from the "home" projects for a few minutes....my breath gets caught and I feel so sad that I have forgotten to tend the most important part of me.....my true creative spirit. I have forgotten to rejoice in who I really am.....getting lost in all the details of life.....all the decisions about remodeling, health issues, tending to family needs, trying to get things organized....feeling so overwhelmed. My soul has been shoved around....screaming in the only way it knows how to....leaving me feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and even angry (that is my soul's voice when it is unhappy)...but until I finally stop for a while I really have been unable to see the situation clearly. Is this my own private struggle or do others have similar moments of artistic confusion?

I've tried to download my recent work....but Blogger seems to be having difficulty this morning and I can't seem to get things downloaded..... How disappointing!!! But....I guess it leaves something for all of us to look forward to!!! I will try to download later....I can't wait for you to see what I've been working on.

Have a wonderful day!

OOOOPPPPSSSS!!!

Obviously it's been so long since I've blogged, it seems as though I have forgotten how to do it! So much time has gone by.....I am in awe!!! We have been so busy....with the selling of two homes, with putting in a new yard, with planting a veggie garden, with starting the studio remodel, with starting a brand new deck, with trips with friends to Lummi Island, with saying good-bye to our daughter (who just left today for a move to Kauai!!!), with Mother's day, with my health, with............it just goes on and on. How easy it is to forget or let go of my soulwork! How easy it is to get so overwhelmed and let things slip away....weeks, months.....and then when you come up for air....you look back and see such a rush and haze. I don't want to live my life like that......but sometimes it just has to be. Responsible living demands attention and I quickly let go of my "center". It's a continued battle for me.

Part of the problem is trying to figure out how to catch you all up. I've finally realized that there is no way to explain all that has gone on. It just needs to begin....and I hope that you can put the many pieces together as I begin blogging again. Writing is truly a priority. I can only try to remember my priorities and push to remember that my "artist work" is my soulwork!!!!

I feel you all out there....waiting patiently for me to get going. I will get better at this. I promise.

Time Flies!!!

La la...It's Wednesday!!!

Wednesday are my days at Stampadoodle and I LOVE seeing all the customers and the people I work with. I got my monthly medication on Tuesday and often I can't get going on the following day but today I was doing the demo....(a little class we do at noon for a hour) so I had to go. In the end it was good for me. Showing people one of my new favorite art techniques and getting to see everyone can make these "icky" days a little easier. Sometimes it doesn't work...but today was fun, fun, fun.

Here are some samples of what I did today for my demo:

All these techniques were done with magazine images that I cut into tiles. Some I scrunched up and some I just cut and "quilted" on the page. Then with a dry brush I put a little gesso over the collage. The top photo I colored with oil pastels and then collaged the flowers and doodled. The bottom two photos were the scrunched images. After the gesson I brushed ink over the surface. The first one I used versamark with platinum embossing powder and then a bordeaux and a green ink pad. The second one I just used the bordeaux ink pad. I got this technique from an on-line yahoo group....Art Techniques. I've played around with both techniques quite a bit and it is amazing the way the final products differ accoring to the magazine colors, the amount of gesso and then the inks that you use. Fun, fun, fun background techniques!!!

It feels awesome to be creating again!!! Moving has really seemed to make doing art difficult. My studio is all set up (thanks to my awesome friend Julie who is an organization guru) and everything is at my fingertips. Everyday, I think I feel stronger and more settled which I'm sure will lead me back to my usual rituals. Moving has been an amazing journey!

My goal for tomorrow is to take some photos of our new home. I want to share them with you! Our little house is truly becoming a home.

Time...Is it on my side?

Recently I've been continually reminded about how fast time can get away from you. Moving is such a huge life shift....add to that the added stress of selling our previous home and our rental property....and well....before I know it weeks have gone by and I am totally overwhelmed. Life provides so many opportunities for us to constantly practice the things that we are here to learn. For me...that is to remember to slow down and rejoice in the moments, be aware of how powerful my own thoughts are in creating my reality and to focus on gratitude, compassion and love. Of course there is much more I have to learn...but during this moving experience these seem to be the most important.

Since our move it's been challenging to get back to my daily rituals. I miss these routines and I'm trying to get settled enough so that I can resume them a.s.a.p!!! In Twyla Tharp's book, The Creative Habit (one that I highly recommend!!!), she talks alot about the importance of "ritual" especially at the beginning of your day. When I am disciplined about this idea I find that my entire day flows a little easier. Phew.....it is a huge challenge not to let distractions get in the way of the things that are so good for us!!!!

Everyday Richard and I are feeling more comfy in our new home. I'm excited about how it is all coming together. I'm really trying to make this a "home" and to remember that creating a home is a huge part of my own creative pallette. Our old house was way too huge and fancy for me to add my own personal "funk" to the decorating. The house that I owned before Richard and I got married was truly totally mine in terms or color and my own signature (lime green kitchen with shiny jewels around the window, fucsia, orange and purple art studio with paint splattered floors and a wonderful garden with special little things tucked everywhere!). I really missed that....the house we're selling was absolutely beautiful but it required a somewhat grown-up style. It was fun to pretend I was a grown up...especially when the kids were home...I think my eccentric decorating style sometimes embarrassed them....but I am sosososo ready to get back to "me". Poor Richard promised that he would let me "go wild". He's more of a earth tone guy....but so far he's hanging on and I think secretly loving it! My camera isn't working (horrors of all horrors) but I promise to include pictures as soon as it is up and running!!!

Well...these are my thoughts for a Monday morning. Blessings to all and thank you for being there!!!

Oh well.....I'm learning!!!!

OK??? What's up with the huge gap between the title and the writing? It looks stupid!

I'm all hooked up!!!!

Last night Richard got me all hooked up...entire computer, printer, camera....I'm back totally!!! Another step toward being settled in our new home. So............here are the pictures of our move!!! I'm so excited to share them with you. I think you'll be able to see how blessed my life is.

This is a picture of Richard and I on the first night that we had the key. We had a quick dinner at the new house and then went back to our old house for our last evening there!!! Even empty...the house felt warm and cozy. We truly felt like we were at home!

Moving day was absolutely beautiful. This picture was taken down by the creek at the bottom of our property.

Richard and Wes (a friend of ours....actually our "moving angel") are unloading yet another ton of our stuff. We've discovered that we have alot of stuff!!!

The Tiaras arrive. I was so excited to have them at my new house. This is Julie (an amazing, wonderful, fabulous artist.....she's helping me set up my studio in the house).

While we waited for the moving truck we just had to go visit the beautiful creek!!!! Of course Julie and Betsey had their shoes off and were in the water in no time. I loved watching them enjoy the new property. I'm sitting.....I had had my "icky" medicine (an infusion that I take monthly for my Rheumatoid Arthritis) and I was feeling a little queasy and tired. It was a horrible time to have my medication but I'm on this schedule that I can't deviate from. The Tiaras made sure that I rested throughout the day. Bless them!!!! They are my angels!!!!

The Tiaras have this total thing about taking pictures of our feet.....we usually have on our favorite colors and also the same type of shoes!!!! Most of us have Crocs and we love them!!! We could be an add for the comfort of Crocs!!!!

Finally the moving van arrived. The two movers were the cutest!!! We called the guy on the left Fonzie....he looked just like him. Everyone pitched in....Julie organized the pantry and cupboards...Betsey and Gail never left my side...lifting boxes, unpacking what they could, directing the movers and Wes. It was amazing. I did start panicking a little bit when the house began to fill up, but everyone was very reassuring about the fact that soon we would find places for everything!!!!

Oh my gosh....look at these happy gurls. Karen, Gail, Sherri, Betsey and Julie. My life wouldn't be the same without them. Notice the orange wall.....I love it!!!! The picture above is of my new neighbor, May. She is the cutest thing. I can't wait to get to know her!!!

The Tiaras brought a basket of wonderful goodies including these cupcakes! Isn't that perfect! They brought champagne, salad, flowers, paper plates, napkins. After the truck was unloaded Karen gave a beautiful champagne toast and then we munched down on some wonderful pizza, salad, and cupcakes. It was absolutely perfect!!!!

Ahhhhh....a toast to our new house. It was amazing...even at this point we both felt like we were home.

Right before the boys left (after I had paid them:)) we posed for a picture. They were great and fit right in. The giggling Tiaras didn't scare them one bit. They may have been puzzled at times but they smiled and chuckled alot....I think they had a great time!!!! Who couldn't when your around us?!!!!!

I think everyone stayed until around 8 o'clock. It was exhausting but a total blast. I've thought alot about this time with my friends. It's hard for me to accept help....I'm just not good at it. Through my illness I think I've learned to be pretty self-sufficient. When they told me that they wanted to help...at first I was hesitant. I LOVE doing for others but letting others do for me can be difficult. I knew it was important to let this happen...for all of us!

I LOVE these women. I know that what we have is very special. I feel badly for people who don't have this level of friendship in their lives. I know its unique...at least it is a new experience for me. I've had amazing friends throughout my life....AMAZING....but I've never had a group of women who are so close with one another. We are all very different...yet we "work" together. All of our colors, textures, gifts...come together to make a beautiful quilt of love and committment. I can get pretty gushy about all of this...so I'll stop.

Thank you Tiaras!!! You are all wonderful and add so much to my life. Richard and I can't tell you how much it meant to have you all around us on our big day!!!!

A special note.....the 6th Tiara...Suzie....couldn't be with us and we missed her horribly. She was having some medical stuff happening that day and was being a wonderful Grandma taking care of her precious Grandson. She is as special as the others.......

It's been too long!!!

Oh my gosh!!! It has been way too long since I have written.....but I've been a little "busy" to say the least. I wanted to wait until I could find my camera attachment for my computer so that I could include pictures....but I may be waiting a long time before it surfaces given the state of affairs here in our new home....and so this will just be a check-in....and pictures will come later.

No matter how you do a move....it is HORRIBLE and so disruptive I just can't believe it!!! I knew it on some level (since my last move was just two years ago) but I really was totally caught off guard regarding how overwhelming the entire thing can be. Every day I'm feeling a little more sane....but let me tell you....there have been times where I really didn't know who I was.....I've had a couple of episodes where I literally have become the "monster from the deep, scrudgy lagoon.....roaring my mighty head off!!!" It's amazing!!!! Someday....it may be funny but right now it feels horrifying!

There are many miracles that have occurred over the past couple of weeks.... The main one is that the minute we walked into our new house, when we got the key, we both knew we were home. We love it here! It is cozy and charming. We can see future projects...however, right now.....it is just perfect.

Another miracle is that Richard and I are still laughing and deeply loving one another. There's been moments where the tension is thick....but we've dealt with it....and mostly have laughed our heads off...and it's been wonderful! That is totally amazing. There have been times where we've both been so exhausted that we couldn't even talk....touching was impossible....even little winks seemed challenging....but we were in it together and it was very special.

My friends have been another total miracle. They have supported us in ways that at times have brought me to tears. They were with me on moving day....and they've been with me ever since.
My family has been wonderful too...so positive and affirming. I am so blessed. I can't even begin to express my gratitude....I will talk more about this when I post the pictures......it's all caught on film!!!

And finally.....the most awesome thing happened. Our house that we moved out of went on the market on Saturday. We had an Open House on Sunday. Monday evening....yes, Monday evening....we were in our realtors office signing a full price offer!!!!!!! Is that amazing or what??? Those of you who know me know that I believe in the concept of "creating your own reality". Well this totally reaffirms my belief in this idea. The realtor, Richard and I have always talked about a specific time-line....house on the market on Saturday, Open House on Sunday and a meeting at the realtor's office on Monday evening to sign an offer. Throughout this whole thing that has been our plan. If one of us strayed....the other two would repeat the plan. When I became doubtful in my head....which happened alot....I switched to being grateful for anything and everything in my life....hoping that that authentic gratefulness would attract more things to be grateful for. I must admit.....eventhough I'm a strong believer...I'm totally in awe!!!! We are sosososo thankful!!!!

So...........this has been a very quick summary. We still can't find anything and we're still surrounded by cardboard....but everyday it gets better. Up until last night I've been sleeping like a log and have woken up the next morning....rested and ready to begin again. I'm not surprised, however, that my sleeping troubles are beginning to return....since things are a little more like normal.......but believe it or not....my wierd sleeping patterns have been part of my life for so long....I find it comforting that on some nights I get extra hours to putter around and live in the quiet. Things are heavenly!!!

Thank you to everyone who have been so supportive and who have been sending us positive thoughts and prayers. I felt all of you in my pocket! I can't wait to share the pictures of our new little slice of paradise!!!

Blessings to all!

Update on the move!!!

Two posts in one day!!! Oh well!!!

Richard just got home from work and he has the key to our new house in his pocket. We're taking a load of kitchen stuff over and having our first meal there (take out...)!!! I can't wait. It's all coming together for us just like I envisioned!

Thanks for all your support!

Happy Birthday Gail!!!

I LOVE my art group!!! We meet weekly (or at least try to) and I feel so utterly blessed to have these wonderful, creative, funny women in my life. They have added such joy and warmth to my days. We always say that it was a miracle that we found each other.....because we're all very different...but when we come together...WATCH OUT!!! I respect these women so much...their strength, their compassion, their loyalty, their values.....I think of us as a beautiful quilt that has come together in friendship....we sparkle and shine. Believe me.....we've got something very special going on!!! We call ourselves the Tiaras and we are all perfect princesses!!!

Yesterday we celebrated Gail's birthday. Julie organized the party out at her house....and OH MY GOSH....what a beautiful day!!! Julie and her husband, Jon, live out in GlenHaven which is a little piece of heaven that is about 20 minutes from Bellingham. Their house is beautiful! Every where I looked I could see Julie. It's a wonderful home....cozy and warm. She and Jon had worked their tails off preparing for our visit.....and every detail was very special!!

Gail is one of the twinkling stars in our group.....she is beautiful, talented, loving, an amazing parent, an awesome wife and daughter and a wonderful friend. It was so nice taking a day to just celebrate her. We were all there (except Karen, who had to work....and she was horribly missed!!!) eager to see Julie's house and eager to bestow Gail with the attention and love that was bubbling out of all of us. It was really fun!!!

Since Gail is our official Cowgurl of the group (she is hopelessly in love with Toby Keith and loves everything cowperson!!!) Julie had chosen the theme of cowgurl!!! She had everything decorated so darling....everything related to cowboys & cowgurls in some way.....the table favors, the centerpiece, the things around us!!! It was darling!!! During the party we made cowgurl dolls for Gail....we love to play and this was the perfect thing to do. Julie had made yummy nachos with lots of fun toppings and then we had cake and coffee during our art project! It was the perfect day....PERFECT!!!

I knew that Gail loved the work of Tracie Huskamp. Before Artfest I got in touch with Tracie and asked her if we could buy one of her beautiful banners as a birthday gift for Gail......of course Tracie (in her loving Tracie way) was thrilled and on vendor night Betsey and I went and picked one out!!! We gave that to Gail yesterday and she loved it!!! She got tears in her eyes when she saw it!!! I love it when surprises turn out so perfectly.

Happy Birthday...my sweet friend Gail!!! You have added the most beautiful, magical fairy dust to my life.

(I haven't learned yet how to get the pictures within the text of my writing....sorry that they are all at first!!! I also have no idea how to turn that one photo around....so you'll have to look at it sideways.....Obviously...I'm a beginner!!!)

Moving day is coming!

I was just writing an e-mail to my beautiful friend Gail and I realized that what I was typing felt very important......and so here I am....finally ready to enter some thoughts in my blog. Recently, it's been difficult to settle my mind down enough to write like I'm use to. I have tried a couple of times....but the words that came out didn't even sound like me at all...and I always ended up erasing them. Today, I am so full of emotion...maybe a sense of myself will come through.

I've never really spoken about my spiritual beliefs....wondering if this was really the appropriate place for that....however I know that my true self can be seen between these lines and I also know that my spirituality is a huge part of who I am. My primary belief, at this point in my life, is that I am responsible for creating my own reality. I know that my own thoughts, words, actions are directly linked to the happenings of my life. I believe that the Universe only wants abundance for me and that everything happens for a reason. Also I know, very deeply, that we are all connected...I don't know how (that isn't important) but I know that my essence connects with everything else that I come in contact with. And....I believe that the most important thing I can do on this earth, at all times, is live with awareness, compassion and love.....if every move I make are surrounded by these thoughts, I know I can't go wrong. Given these beliefs... I am strong....and look at situations from a place of wonder....why did that happen?....what do I have to learn from this?.....why did I bring this to my life?....how can I love this person more?... is this decision a decision that is surrounded by love and compassion?...what would be the loving thing to do here? I know that I am creating my own little world and that my thoughts, my actions, my desires bring to me my experiences and reality.

Given that....(very quick summary of my beliefs)....I still struggle with worry, doubt, fear, rejection, anger, frustration, jealousy....all the things that challenge us in our lives. These are areas of my being that I boldly face as weaknesses and I try constantly to work at them with honesty and diligence. This move....the selling of two properties, the buying of a new one, the financial responsibility of a bridge loan along with the potential of paying three mortgages...is a huge step in faith and is presenting quite a challenge for me to stay true to my beliefs. Since I am bright, incredibly hyperactive, able to think on many levels at one time, amazingly creative in my thinking.....I can think on one level about selling our two properties successfully, I can visualize the people who are waiting to buy them, I can imagine how it will feel to sign those closing papers....I can also work my tail off on making both properties show at their best...doing special things so that the properties reflect my love of them and my belief that they are great pieces of realestate.....but......on some other level, while all this positive stuff is going on, there seems to be this nagging worry of "what if"..........................and I am so afraid that that is potentially ruining any hope of things falling into place for us.

Yesterday a solution came to me...and so far it has worked. I was reading about always being grateful for the abundance in one's life......that that feeling of abundance can only attract more abundance and reasons for more grafefulness. It clicked for me.....a huge AH-AH!!! So....whenever I do my visualization of all of our financial things falling into place....I include many moments of thankfulness for all I have in my life (and believe me....I have many blessings!!!). Yesterday I tried to move with more awareness and when I caught myself worrying (which I swear...I am the worry queen) I immediately made myself go to a place of thankfulness and abundance. I became thankful for everything....my dogs furry ears, my comfy sweat pants that feel so warm and safe to me, the beautiful trees, the fact that I have two properties to sell, my beautiful and faithful friends, my kids, my awesome husband, my wonderful soap that my son bought me that smells like vanilla and raspberries at the same time.... That is where I spent my day.

Now....it wasn't always easy.....but it felt so much more productive and positive and it did shift the worry. It was a huge relief. My friend Gail often lists her blessings on her blog. Isn't that amazing? She is amazing....but she is such a model for how I want to be. I guess my surprise is that I never saw it as a tool until this point.

I am full today with many blessings. All the work we are doing right now is a way of tending to our dreams and it hardly seems like work at all......it's almost like both Richard and I are saying thank-you for all the good that has come to us. Tending to these properties we have for sale seems to be a way of saying thank-you for giving us such huge moments of joy, peace and love. It's as if we are preparing to welcome the new owners with open, loving arms. I am amazed by all of this.....

I guess....finally.....this is who I am!!! This is who I want to be!!! It's different than who I have always thought I was. What a gift to come to a place where I can let go of the haunting, "icky" parts of myself and move toward becoming a person surrounded by a loving light. Thank you for coming here and reading this.

It's been too long!!!

I can't believe that so many days of come and gone and I haven't been able to write in my blog. Actually I had a little time....but when I sat down my thoughts would never slow down long enough for me to write in any way that may have made sense. Needless to say, since Artfest, things here at the Estes/Angie home have been exciting, crazy, nerve racking, sad, happy, exhausting...........

I know I haven't shared much about Artfest...but I find it so challenging to write about the experience and even begin to portray all the beautiful faces, colors, textures, feelings that went along with the event. The only down side of Artfest was that my entire art group didn't go. I missed the other four woman so much...and wished that I had found a pot of gold and huge amounts of time so that all of us could be together. I look forward to a time when we can all go to an event like this and all be together.....the place won't know what hit them...we're a very dynamic group!!!!

I have many highllights...but I meeting all the wonderful people was so exciting. I love the way the people in my dorm slowly got to know each other....by the end it felt like I had known some of them for years. Meeting all the teachers was awesome. I got to take classes from three women whose careers I have been followling and already thought they were wonderful....but to be with them in person, to watch them work, to listen to their stories....that was amazing. My teachers were Annahata Katkin, Traci Bautista, and Karen Michel. They were all so different but were tremendous instructors. They are three talented women artistically...but also three hard working business women who are living their dreams. I want to be just like them.

My other highlight was meeting Tracy Huskamp of The Red Door Studio. My friend Gail introduced me to Tracy's blog and I have grown to love her spirit. I'm actually pretty shy but on the night of the "Meeting the Teachers" event I made myself stop by her table and say Hi. It was an instant connection. Her energy, smile and kindness was so beautiful. I connected with her again on Vendor night. Both meetings were very hectic (there were crowds of folks trying to meet her and look at the beautiful things at her booth) but I felt something happen between us that was pretty special. Thank you Tracy!!!!

Now....since I've been home it has been amazingly busy getting ready for our move. This is huge for Richard and I....HUGE...and we are working so hard to make it go smoothly and with thought and caring. We both feel so confident that this is right for us but it is still scary moving from a huge house into a little, itty-bitty house. Also the money thing is absolutely frightening, but we are manifesting nothing but perfect success and know without a doubt that there are two families out there just waiting to buy both of our houses (at our asking prices:)!!!

I've always had such a hard time saying good-bye to anything. It's one of my life-long issues. Saying good-bye to this house is very difficult. It's been so good to us and we've loved living here. It took a while for me to nest here and I don't think I was ever totally comfortable living in this house. It's big, it's modern, it's in a swanky neighborhood, it's the house I always thought I wanted...it has everything...the view, the huge masterbedroom and ajoining huge bathroom with a jetted tub, a beautiful kitchen and great room, a media room, a study, two other bedrooms with a full bathroom, a big yard...but it isn't all of that that is important. It's what this house has taught me that is sososo important.

I have learned that it isn't the "outside" stuff that makes me who I am. That the house I live in doesn't matter at all. A home is all about what is inside. This house is too big for us and it has become a huge responsibility both financially and physically. Our new house is so much more congruent to who we really are. I know we will flourish there. It is a place where we will be able to continue practicing living, compassion, love, contentment.... It is going to be perfect. It truly can become our creative outlet as a couple and that will be so much fun. That's what I am focusing on.

Well....enough for today. Please breathe deeply and watch every moment carefully. We can live each one fully if we pay attention.

Blessings!

Home Again!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! How do I begin to explain my four days at Artfest? The only way I can think of doing it is to write about my experience over a few days of postings. I had so much fun, met so many lovely people, got to know my Bellingham friends better, learned a HUGE amount, saw the most beautiful art, laughed so hard, watched miracles happen....it just goes on and on. Seeing the pictures just makes me smile and joyful....and these are only a few.

In the pictures you can tell that we were all smiles. We made art all day and I really was challenged to let my artistic spirit fly. I accomplished keeping my ugly critic at bay and was able to really experiment and "play" while I created some really fun pieces of art. Later I will include pictures of my end products....but for now all I have to say is that I had three fantastic teachers that taught me a tremendous amount. I was in awe of them and totally inspired.

I loved my time with Betsey, Jody and Pam (all of us from Bellingham). I feel like I mad huge leaps in getting to know Jody and Pam....& my feeling of love and thankfulness for Betsey only increased. In the end....I believe it's all about relationships!!! My relationships with these amazing women deepened. That was a true blessing.

It's hard to believe that Betsey and I can spend four long days together and that we don't get on each other's nerves at all....at least she doesn't get on my nerves!!! I am so grateful that she is willing to go with me and take the classes with me. When my lack of vision or my health gets in the way she is always willing to help me. I know at times it must be difficult to tow me around (at night, over rough terrain, carrying heavy things, helping me see things, sitting with me when my blood sugars drop, etc.) but she does all this with such kindness and patience....it's amazing. I have tremendous respect for her. I feel honored to be her friend and loved watching her grow in her artistic exploration. I also loved watching her interact with everyone. She was so open and gracious with people....truly interested in their lives....helping people feel comfortable. Watching her bloom was one of my highlights of the whole Artfest experience.

Being at Artfest taught me so many things and reinforced many of my core beliefs. I met so many kindred spirits....colorful, loving people....who were courageous in their willingness to approach art in a different way. There were many hesitations during my classes...but everyone that surrounded me always took the leap that the teachers were asking of them. I saw that artists NEED to meet other artists and that relationships can immediately be made that feel very real and touching. I saw, over and over again, that we really do create our own reality. Magic happened many times during this past weekend.

I also learned so much about myself. Oh my gosh.....I don't know where to begin.... But what I know for sure is that I want to continue pursuing my goals to become a stronger artist and to be the best teacher I can be. I saw some amazing models this weekend. It was exhausting....but I was able to soak in a great deal.

I will share more later.....but for now I am glad I'm home and I am still living off of the high of the event. I can't wait to tell you about the people I met, my "heros" that I connected with, my classes, the teachers and more of the fun. Stay tuned!!!