I've Been Missing!

Have you ever felt that way? It's been horrible for me these past couple of days...I've been feeling like I've lost myself. I have looked everywhere for me but I have vanished. This person who is left is truly someone whom I haven't seen in a while and I don't like her very much. She has a very weak inner voice. She's scared. She punishes herself and she is so damn critical of everything she does. I want myself back.

I remain positive that I will find myself again. Today, I think, I'm feeling a hint of my presence but it is too early to be jubliant. I have to tread carefully in order to give myself space to return in wholeness. Can anyone understand this?

Don't worry, however!!! (That's hilarious!!! I'm sounding totally crazy and I'm telling you not to worry.) I think I'm writing about something that we all feel now and then...but of course I'm blabbing my feelings to the Universe (that's the most crazy part!!!), hoping that by putting it in words I might be speaking for others who have felt this way and also hoping that it will help my real self feel safe and come back again.

I wrote, previously, about my "retreat" days. I sounded so together and brave, but sometimes I just have to be sad and then....well I disappear. My dogs know where I am.....and my cat is staying very close. They are all assuring me that they can still see my true essence and that they love me. My husband keeps reminding me of "who I really am". I think he's hoping that he'll be able to help me find the true me if he describes me in detail. Sometimes he gets so frantic, trying to fix things. I can understand this....but it really doesn't help me to reappear. The next time I write, hopefully I will have found myself again.